I knew the risk of joining the resistance, but I don't think anyone is ever really is able to absorb the idea of ending up like this. Tied hands and feet, lying in a dark cell, alone and broken. I don't even know what I told them in the end. Did I give them the names and places they asked for? I hardly remember if I told them the truth or if I lied. You tell yourself that you would never surrender or tell them anything, but in the end you don't give up. You just break. You prepare yourself just to shut your mouth and not answering the questions they just repeat, and torture you a little in between. That's not how they do it. They don't ask. That's the torture. I think back while I shake in fear and pain recalling the horror....

They just tortured me. Tied my hands and feet real tight, and then they used another rope to tie my wrist and ankles together tight behind my back. Then they blindfolded me and put a rope around my neck. Didn't say a word. Just tying me up like it was an ordinary day at the office. I was prepared to don't answer anything, but they didn't ask me anything  I looked at them and was close to asking them what they wanted. Then they hoisted me up til my while body rested on my knees, hands and feet tied together on my back so that the rope sort of strangled me and allowed me to breath. It didn't cut of the blood flow, so there was no rest in unconsciousness. It just hurt it made every breath hurt. I was in pain moaning and crying. Then they put a ball or something in my mouth and tied a piece of cloth I think tight around my mouth. I felt like coughing and felt sick, swallowing was almost impossible and talking was out of the way. Then they left I think. I heard them talking and laughing and a door open and closed. The whole room was silent. This made me more afraid than ever. I felt the panick in my stomach. Are they not going to ask me questions? Are they executing me right now? Am I supposed to strangle slowly here with my.moith filled with spit? My god! They're not coming back! They will let me die here. It will take hours and hours, but I will die here almost strangling choking in my own vomit. I don't know for how long I drifted in fear and panick, maybe loosing consciousness a few times, I don't know, I all remember is fear and pain and hardly no air. Caught myself hoping that they would return and hit or whatever. Just don't let me alone here in fear and pain.....

Suddenly I was lifted up. All air was blocked. I totally panicked. Trying to twist myself out of the rope. Get down to the floor. Please God! Let me breath again. Give me back my tiny sips of air that kept me alive. Then I was lowered back on the floor. Thank God! Air!!! Small bits of air in my lungs. What was that?! Who does this? Anyone here? Please! Talk to me! Ask me something! Why do they....Then I was hoisted back up in the air. Same as last time. Lowered back. Hoisted again. OMG OMG Make it stop! HURRTTTTSSSSS!!!!!I don't even remember how many times this was repeated, but suddenly I was lowered all the way down. Lying naked and tied with the rope now loose around my neck I tried filled my lungs as food as much as I coul. Sweet, sweet air......

All of a sudden a strong hand grabbed my hair. I flinched and my heart almost stopped. A strange feeling of fear of what would happen now and relief that someone was there. I heard questions. Oh, finally. Questions. An opportunity to end this. Buy some time. Yes I know what you ask of me. I know who they are and where they are. Just remove my gag. I'll tell you enough to end this. Stop asking the same questions again and again. I can't talk! Please remove the gag and let me talk. Suddenly they stop asking. They laugh and say something, I can't hear what the.....No, no, no! Don't hoist me up again! Stop it. Please! NO MORE!!!! I'LL TALK!!!

They just repeated the same as last time. Hoisting me up and then lowering me, but this time I remember going black and then drift back to reality when lowered until my knees went back on the ground. I remember thinking that I'm going mad with pain and lack of air and fear of death. It just went on and on. The last time I can sweat they just kept me there. Panic beyond anything hit me. My god. They're killing me this time. They're not going to aske med anymore. Just kill me. Can't breathe......going black.....

I woke up lying on the floor with a cold shock. They must have hosed me or something. Oh thank god. My gag is gone. I scream. I cry. I beg. Strong hands grab me and lifts me up. Puts me down on the table and I hear a calm voice: "I'll give you thirty seconds. If you spend these begging and crying, or telling us bullshit, we know if you do, you're back up, and this time we'll be nasty and treat you bad. What you have gone through so far will feel like cuddling compared to what we'll do with you. You choose how to spend your time. Starting now!". I try to clear my head, but panick and mynhwad is nothing but fear of pain and suffer and strangling. Please  No more. So I talk. I talk. I tell them. I don't know what I tell them. They hit me telling me to talk slower. I just talk. I don't know how much I told them, which names, which places or whatever. I just talk". Suddenly they put the gag back in my mouth and strong hands lift me up. Oh god! Please don't put met back in the rope. Please! 

Suddenly they put me down on the cold concrete and cut the ropes that holds my hands and feet together. They take of the blindfold. My vision is blurry due to the pain in my we body and the long lasting asphyxiation, but I'm able to see some fuzzy silhouettes and hear them talk. "You did very well" a voice says, "Good girl. Now you just wait here. We're done with you" I try to speak, but all sound has left my body. "I'm......finnished....?", I whisper while trying not to cry. "You're......done with......me?" They laugh, but now they sound less hostile. They says something like "that's right". I cry as soft as I can. I feel like puking, but I dare not piss them off. "Were leaving you here now" a voice says. "The checkout department will handle you from here". They laugh...

I cry and shiver. A combination of the fear and shock of what I've been through and the hope of relief they given me. I'm finished! I will be released! I'll be out of here! I can see my family again! Suddenly fear hits me. What did I tell them I have no idea! Words came out of me! Did I give them names? Places? i was just a piece of meat talking. All training of how to oppose the interrogation was blown to dry leaf. There was nothing left except the fear of the torture and the desire to make the pain stop. Oh god, please let them set me free so I can warn the others before it's too late....

(To be continued....?)